god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
