How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
