You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize