are you so shy because you have an std?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
