My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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