I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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