Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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