Who wears a wallet chain?!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
