Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
