News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
