we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
