I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
