You really coming over, don't trick.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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