every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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