Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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