GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
