I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
