so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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