I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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