Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize