what day is it and did you see me today?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
