I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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