Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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