so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
