Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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