Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
