everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
