dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize