OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She bit a glass in half.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
