I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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