some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
