"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do herpes really smell.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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