And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
