I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
