she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
