Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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