well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
