Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
