I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
