I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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