just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
