He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
