i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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