So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
bring money and cleavage
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
