He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
