It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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