My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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