Farmville is her only friend.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
