Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
