i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
