Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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