remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
