I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
