Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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