Nicole vs. Life
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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