I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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