so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
