1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize