I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
