did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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