does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize