tell your sister to shave her snatch
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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