How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
