My brain says no but my pants say off.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
