you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
