You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like death gave me a hand job
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
