when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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